无奈Helpless

我很无奈这一种生活。。。我觉得什么都不简单。。。好无助。。。
就算有自己的亲人家人的帮忙也觉得很厌倦。。。我很想一个人生活。。。
只可惜我没有像以前那么积极了。。。
我被我前女友说得对！我就是妈妈的乖小孩。。。如果是真的小孩那是称赞。。。
如果是大人那就没出息了。。。如果当初我选择和自己喜爱的人在一起。。。
也许我的生活过自在了。。。我的家庭背景吃的饱饿不死。。。一直在羡慕别人拥有
名车豪宅。。。虽然哥哥姐姐都是大学毕业的。。。爸爸妈妈也不是什么社会有地位的。。。普普通通。。。经常自问自己做么自己的父母亲没有别人的父母亲
那么成功那么厉害？。。。妈妈只会在家讲有的没有的。。。爸爸的pattern就是那样子。。。
虽然他们能给我读上大学。。。可惜看到家境那样酸酸的。。老爸用了几十年的车子
舍不得换。。。妈妈退休后就整天躲在家不会参朋友。。只不过偶尔去打太极。。。参参
一些朋友。。。还有佛教会的朋友。。。很少看到爸爸妈妈的朋友到家来热闹。。。
妈妈经常只会批评爸爸的不好。。。我听了都不耐烦了。。。有时候都是因为这件事情
和他们吵架。。。有时候总觉得父母亲永远都不了解孩子们的心情。。。算了吧。。。
讲也是没有用！爸爸妈妈都这种年纪了。。。只好写在这里让自己的心情好过点。。。
the end~

23岁念degree 27岁才毕业

这是我的人生吗？为什么不是20岁念degree 24岁毕业…… 我的人生很deley也许是受家庭环境影响也许是没有人生目标……我的人生就从13岁开始就deley了……UPSR国语不是很理想所以上中学就必须上过度班……中学form one until form five 的我都比多数的人大一岁…… form five念完的我已经是18岁了……之后19岁开始就到外面升学……我也deley了我的人生半年……因为physic和chemistry在SPM里考不好所以不能直接拿diploma三年必须念Sijil 两年之后等半年才拿diploma一年共三年半……完成了我已经21岁出了… 接着工作一年之后又再去升学念degree....当时23岁……我……接下来都是很多的疑问……为什么要念sijil……diploma……不就念stpm?....这一个疑问都怪成绩不好……还有为什么念完diploma就可以做工了……做么还要念degree??... 答案是:我妈妈希望她孩子都有degree.... 从小的我就是没有主张…… 我卖掉我的人生换取更高的学历…… 为什么有些人年纪轻轻就那么快成功了？？……我要用什么理由要解释做么你那么慢才大学毕业……好过你现在拼就算文凭不高也能闯一番事业啊……我就是输给了我妈妈的那一句话……她要她的孩子都念degree...我可以说是那么的孝顺也可以说是那么的并不的已……所以我决定了过一天算一天……人生难测……

交女朋友我怕了~

分手后的后遗症吧~我又开始埋怨了~为什么别人的生活比我好？有自己的另一半有自己的幸福~什么时候轮到我啊？~有时候就是因为尊严，会说什么的才不稀罕呢~心里却不是那么想的~看到他们双双对对心里隐藏了一个酸酸的心~其实我曾经幸福过~只不过我处理的不好~其实我的心结还没开~在这一个世界上我想没有一个人可以了解到我真正的心情~就算是家人~以前曾经埋怨过家人的不好~讨厌这个那个很无奈的感觉~现在的我就是因为这样我变得毫无主见~我不知道自己的未来是什么样的~我只知道家人要我念到大学~为了实现妈妈的愿望我就选择了继续升学~就这样我就变去另外一个世界了~我的计划又要从零开始~如果还是继续做工或许我可以存了一笔钱又或许已经交到了女朋友~计划未来等等~但是如今我还是要面对现实~……我就是很不爽有时候的心情>O<……我就是这样了……希望别再发同一样的毛病了……to be continued...

Good! Good! Good!!!

I am expressing my feeling... I am very feel excited right now....
why? because I get a good result compare to last semester.. yeah! ...
I gona blogging to write out good! good! good!....
我感到非常高兴。。。因为我考的成绩跟上次来计较
这一次考的非常优等。。。我太兴奋了。。。
Saya sangat gembira, kerana dapatkan keputusan peperiksaan
yang amat memuaskan bagi saya berbanding dengan semester terlepas...

Good ! Good! Good!... 用了三种语言来表态。。。。
哈哈哈～。。。我太高兴了。。。。I gonna improve myself...
dun let my performance drop... Buddha bless....
hopefully I can learn more, study more, struggling hard... n plus plus...
Until now I think my English are poor... not very... but poor....

so I really gotta improve and make it fluent... actually I am not satisfied
with why I am a degree student my English still like tat ah? really shamed fully..
My English like directed translate from chinese.... called Engchinses... haha...

btw.. I hope for the next semester coming soon... I will getting better...
Good Nitz everyone ~ =D

L.I = Latihan Industrial

Latihan Industrial or Industrial Training
in the other word called Intern-ship
2moro I gonna go for my Intern-ship in my previous company
Sukiada Enginneering... Feel like nothing to say...
I just started my vocation after finished my final exam on 25 June...
Actually this Intern-ship temporary is not compulsory to take
seen I am first year student but they encourage us to do...
just for your future good graining more working experiences...
Well, I am the one got working experiences, I was very excited
having the Intern-ship programme just in my Faculty only...
Even I had worked experiences before entering into University
sound like working experiences like part time job like waitress
sale assistant as well as promoter.. nope! I am not that kind of
working experience even though I had done before during secondary skull
after secondary... when diploma...after my Polytechnic Certificate and
after finished my Diploma in Building Services Engineering.
I ever worked as Air-con servicing n installation Technician, Draughtsman,
trainee site supervisor or engineer assistant. That why I am the older
one who entering into the University... Well, the ages for entering to University
is not harm, there are no limitation that stated when you 21 years old must
enter the University...  am I right? So what I am going to tell that is...
the Intern-ship programmes I have to face for 2 months start from 2moro...
there is no problem with the working job.. but the Intern-ship programmes
have to do the daily report... then in the mid term Lecturer or Panel will
come here for inspection ...Inspection? some word like tat lah... hmm...
it called visiting....So I have to cooperation with the company and my
University Faculty...FTK = Fukulti Teknologi Kejuruteraan
hope everything going smooth... because that is my choice chose to
take the INtern ship Programmes under my Faculty....
is also have benefit ... compare with if I didnt take this programme
 just work with the company then do not have any commitment
with third party.... but I afraid the company especially the person
in charge not will really cooperate with third party... that why I am worrying..
oh is time to bed... dun think to much happy holidaying with the Intern-ship
Programmes.... Program Internship Berstruktur Bersama Industri (SIP)

多忧愁~_~

以下这一篇日记是想写好久了……
r u serious nk bercinta gan saya?
又英文的又马来文的~某某人好像对某某人有feel~ 可是对方不是华人也~ sot zuo meh? 喜欢上马来婆？
参多一点那些人我就完了~
那一天上完了AE后班上的马来婆约我去吃饭~我不懂做么就随口答应了~
我觉得偶尔参参这里的友族也不错下~可是整车都是女的也~zZ~我在问清楚是不是有男生去~还好有两个男生去~不然我就被马来婆包了~zZ……他们带我去吃kerang那就是海鲜之类的食物~叫贝壳(^_^)……离我大学这里蛮远下……在sungai lurus面向海边……风景蛮不错下……我觉得啊~我班上的马来婆蛮不错下会invite我来这样的地方来吃~虽然我和他们没什么聊的来~也许是因为我马来语不是很好吧~在加买我又不是很爱讲话的人……
next....~
最近的事# 考试# 压力# 应付# 去玩#
看美女(^V^)…… 真是多忧愁……
几时要找个女朋友谈恋爱喔？
depend on缘分吧~ 大学有酱多的美女要追哪一个喔？
我变得越来越复杂了~经历多烦的多~没有积极乐观的态度去面对~
我还是会想起之前的不快乐的事情……
我人很没有自信了~这就是我的缺点……看到人家比我强我就会没有勇气奋斗了~_~……
年纪# 岁月# 我在大学第一年学生里可算是最大的…… 这也是一种压力…… 当你的优点少过人的话……虽然是个大哥哥…… 于是我经常独自行~zZ…… 有时候真的是很难参那些小的……和他们的年龄相差三四岁……不用讲和一群女生~zZ…… 我没什么强项让那些女生吸引~zZ……
我就是那么的忧愁了…… 可是我已经习惯了这一种生活(^_^)……
这就是不同人有不同的烦恼……写了出来也许比较轻松了……

The time with the Interview

I jus t grain for the interview exp.

I been called for interview for the Instep Programme

Instep = Institute Technology Petroleum Petronas

the interview location : Holidays Inn Melacca..

how the interview is?

I felt nothing to say… the first two level is okay…

after the registration, there have a briefing session

about the background of the INSTEP…

after that there having an ability test…

this test was critical 100 questions have to be

completed in 45 mins… the last 20 questions I randomly pick

overall the question consists of English Grammar, Math, physic

chemistry, and the logistic questions which u have to chose

the similar shape… the math spend much time to circle the answer..

I just look for the answer that match with the question….

the last level is interview session, there have 2 panel which is your

interviewer... like usual describe yourself speak in English...

I was stutter dont know where to start... I said my name...

from where... family background... how many sibling....

when I was said that I come from Bintulu, Sarawak...

the first question they ask you direct comes here at Melacca?

I knew what they guess... I roughly tell them actually I am doing

my degree currently at Johor ... oh... this answer might should not say...

why you come here for interview? since u doing degree?

at this time I could not give the strong idea tat I really wan

join instep... just said if instep wan me , for sure I willing to quite degree

the interviewer seen like not agreed wif this situation..

they just suggest tat supposedly I should continue to my degree...  

since u got this chance to get degree why dun continue?

tats make me lots of questions marks... 

so last question u chose to join instep or continue your degree?

like u chose to be engineer or technician? 

the final answer I told them better continue ba...

Anyway feel sad or wat ? as I know tat I cnnot get instep?

By the way come here just for graining the interview experiences

I dont  expect so much... ==" seen there nthg to say n with the regret

okay now I m feel good I m okay... thats all...

be cheer in study n be a good student bah...

很sweet 的moment

我突然感到孤单了~
多希望有个心爱的人
陪伴在身边~我曾经拥有过~
两年前的过去式说到头真让人遗憾~
人们说:我又在想她了~
追女生变难了~什么东西也变难了~
我就是活在这一种negative的范围下~
我很难表达也很难主动~……
不!我不想变成那样!~
我要活的快乐!~
有时候这一种sweet moment
真的是很让人嫉妒讨厌!显啊~
看到其他人那么的sweet……
自己也想要了!(>_<)……人们说这就是命!
有些人快结婚有些人慢结婚~
为何不是自己的选择呢？~
我想有个选择……但我缺乏自信心~
就像考试你啊一定要考A啊！
我会应我试看~zZ
那种不confident的脸……
这就是我了~像我这样的人在这一个
社会很难当老板~zZ……
我就是那样子了!
写了这一种心情总算跟全世界
说我的缺点~就像是讲自己的臭事~
很奇怪吧？……to be continue-.-